Sunday, August 18, 2013

Here's some really angsty poetry


I feel broken
fragmented
like I am cracking apart from the inside
I haven't felt this in years...

Pulling at the seams
going fucking crazy

I really don't like it
I blame you,
but it's really just me
unable to cope
to deal with reality
to be 30 years old and still
making mistakes

I feel weak and
I really hate feeling weak.
It makes me feel so...
human.
8/17/13
©KTildes

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Take a walk with me..

If you don't believe in fairies, come take a walk w me and I'll show you were they live. 
They live in the spaces between; in the sunbeams, the air between two trees, the leaves falling from branches, feathers on the wind.  They live in our memories, in the shadows,  the things you see in the corner of your eyes.

They do exist, you just need to look, and believe.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

writing, or lack there of

I know I'm supposed to be a writer, but sometimes, I just don't care. I haven't written anything, more than texts, emails, and etc, in months. Either I don't have the dedication or I lost interest. I guess I don't want to be a writer that much. I'm such a dabbler and I often don't finish things. Hence the 3 unfinished novels. Is it the fear of failure or of success that holds me back? A combination of both I suspect. I recall that I wrote a lot of shitty, angsty poetry back in high school and college, when I was depressed and alone. Now I am in my thirties, still sometimes depressed and somewhat alone, still very angsty, but my flavor of writing has changed, what little I create. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever finish the novels, or compile the books of poetry or short stories I supposedly want to. I guess we'll see.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

I feel a rant coming on....

There is something wrong with my blogger account. It keeps dropping all of the blogs I follow, then they're back again a few days later. Weird.  On to my rant. I know I usually post reviews and etc, but I like to vent. So here we go.

Most of my closest friends and I are in our late 20s-mid 30s. Most of us have the same problems: money, the lack of; financial strain b/c of that lack and overwhelming bills to pay, such as rent, car loans, and especially student loans ,etc; lack of job growth, fair pay, and/or employment period; and overall stress b/c of these things. A few of us have master's degrees in really awesome fields, like archaeology and psychology,  but the majority of us have bachelor's degrees we don't really use, myself included. Every one of my group of friends has a job, but most aren't in their field of study or aren't where they thought they would be in it, myself included.

 I feel like my generation was duped.  We grew up believing we could be anything we wanted to be, that we would go off to college, have a blast, and come out with a great career which would help us pay back the inordinate amount of money we spent/borrowed to get there. That is not what has happened. When I graduated college in 2007 and moved (back) to Ma, I thought I'd go find a job in my field, psych/soc/social work, and go back for a master's. That's not what happened. Sure, I did eventually find a job in my field, but I was laid off, along with 8 other people, b/c the federal and state gov't downsized the budgets and the company shut down our department. Now it's 2013. Since then I started a master's degree which I didn't finish b/c I realized I didn't want to work in that field, I got a certification as an EMT-Basic and worked as one for a year until I switched to working at a medical facility, which I'm doing now. Don't get me wrong; I am not whining b/c I don't have a job; I realize I am lucky in that I have a place to live, a car (albeit a shitty one) to drive, money to afford food, clothes, concerts, etc. I am living a good life, it's just not where I thought I'd be by 30.

 Do I blame my parents? No, I blame society. A society that duped millions of people into thinking going to college, studying what we "liked" instead of a trade, taking out millions, hell billions, in debt to do it, was going to solve our problems. Lies. Most of us aren't working in our fields of study b/c there aren't any jobs, and the jobs that are out there require MORE SCHOOL, which means more debt, more stress, and a growing amount of self-loathing, hopelessness, and despair. Do you have any idea how much a master's and doctorate cost these days?! In my newly chosen field, medicine, I really have to get a master's to make any money. I'm aiming for nurse practitioner school, which is going to be about another $60-80k which I can add on to the $70k I already owe back. I will probably have to go for a DNP too; more money. Do you think I can work while I do this? Not really, maybe 15 hours a week for two years, which means I'll rack up more debt to pay for the car, the apartment, the gas, food, clothes, books, etc.


Read this great article found on NPR-"If Employment Game Has Changed , Who's Teaching the Rules?" link here.  This is such a poignant article.


Thanks for listening, readers. I'm going to go make some gluten-free waffles now before I have an anxiety attack.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Review for "Ethereal" by Addison Moore

So, I finished up Addison Moore's book, "Ethereal" last week some time. It was a busy weekend of being outside a lot, even though the weather was atrocious for May. Such is New England weather. So, if you like YA fantasy stuff, you should read "Ethereal". Hell, it's FREE on Amazon Kindle right now (really it is, go get it!) The story is about Skyla, who's mother recently remarried and moves them to some remote island off the coast of Washingston state. She makes new friends, finds out weird things about her house & the locals, while finding herself. It's a great series starter and there are 8 more books in the series.



I also read the 4th book in the Stephanie Plum series, "Four to Score" by Janet Evanovich, which I just loved. I love this series; it's a guilty pleasure. If you haven't heard of or read them yet, start with "One for the Money". It's a great female mystery/crime series. (Goodreads)


I am currently reading "City of Dark Magic" by Magnus Flyte. I wonder if that is his real name...Nope, it's a pseudonym! Anyway, great book! Goodreads, of course. If you liked "The Historian" and similar books, read this! 


Until the next time folks. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

"Ethereal" by Addison Moore

I've been distant again, sorry readers. It happens. I finally finished up chemistry and the semester is over, back to normal reading. Life is good, work is great, health is getting better.

I am currently in the middle of re-reading most of Cassandra Clare's "Mortal Instruments" series. Book 5 is in my pile from the library. But first I need to finish "Ethereal" by Addison Moore, which I just started reading on my kindle last night. This is the first book in the "Celestra" series.yes, it's another YA series about angels. Its pretty good so far!  You can find her blog over here on blogger. She's actually doing a giveaway right now so go enter it! Stay tuned b/c I will add a review once I'm done.

cheers. Enjoy the sun and the pollen (ugh).

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Must read-"daughter of smoke & bone" and sequel

I just finished Laini Taylor's second book, "Days of Blood & Starlight". Go read it.It's the sequel to "Daughter of Smoke & Bone", which is excellent and very unique. GO READ THEM!

What is the series about? Angels, chimera, life, death, humans...

Here is the Goodreads bit about "Daughter of Smoke  &Bon". "Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky.

In a dark and dusty shop, a devil's supply of human teeth grown dangerously low. 

And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherwordly war.

Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real; she's prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands"; she speaks many languages--not all of them human; and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out.

When one of the strangers--beautiful, haunted Akiva--fixes his fire-colored eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?"

Here are the Goodreads links for these titles:
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8490112-daughter-of-smoke-bone?ac=1
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12812550-days-of-blood-starlight

The 3rd one comes out in 2014.

I'm serious, read these.

Here is the author's blog-http://www.lainitaylor.com/


Thursday, March 28, 2013

no time!

I'm currently reading 3 books and trying to stay on top of Chemistry....ugh

Saturday, February 23, 2013

A small giveaway...

Who is interested in a little giveaway? Anyone...?

(echo echo)

Well, I am giving away the following: All paperbacks and in great condition

"A Wild Light" &  "Darkness Calls" by Marjorie M Liu. These are book #2 & 3 in the Hunter Kiss Series. Excellent books.Darkness calls on GR

"Tempting danger" by Eileen Wilks, 1st in World of the Lupi series. paperback
on GR

"Demons Not Included" by Cheyenne McCray, Night Tracker #1
GR

"One Grave at a Time" by Jeaniene Frost, the 1st in the Night Huntress series. Also an awesome series.
GR

"Prom Nights from Hell" an anthology including stories by Meg Cabot, Kim Harrison, Stephenie Meyer and more.
GR

"Transcend" by my friend Christine Fonseca. GR Her website is: over here

SO, you have to comment after this post. Tell me what your ALL TIME favorite book/series is. AND, you have to go like my Facebook author page, which is here: author page.  I WILL check. I'm giving you until Sunday March 2nd. SHARE folks!




Sunday, January 27, 2013

Saturday, January 26, 2013

"Downpour" the 2nd book in the Ember Series

Well I finally got around to finishing "Downpour" the second book in the Ember series by Madison Daniel. It is really good!

Here's my review:

This is the 2nd book in the Ember series and oh boy, is it good! The first part is about Max and Asia running away from their problems by globe-trotting. Then they have a big blow up, Max returns to HI, and his world is shaken again with news from Sam. The triumvirate of Sam, Max, and Asia starts again with a few more twists. Then, the bad guys come into play and everything goes haywire. The book ends with a very interesting twist. This is a definitely a must read series if you like YA paranormal books. Check it out!

Found on Goodreads-my review.
Find Madison at his blog, where you can find him on FB and Twitter.
The book is on Amazon for Kindle here.

seriously, go read this series, it will keep you on your toes!!

-kate