Monday, April 30, 2012

oh look, a short story teaser!

I started writing this today at work and was able to finish it thankfully. I had to write it on paper so I am slowly typing it up. Here's a peek:

“I'd sell my soul for that...”

“No! Stop! Don't say that, please,” she pleaded, reaching her arms out for her friend, Sarah, who was sitting across the table from her. “Sarah, please don't say that,” Alyx begged again, a wild look in her eyes.

Sarah looked back at her friend earnestly. “Relax, Alyx, it's just a saying. The Devil doesn't even exist.” She brushed a hand through her long blonde hair, flipping it out dramatically.

“He does, trust me,” Alyx whispered, “I know all too well...”

“So, what about the new Environmental Law professor Mr. Lucas...” Sarah said, changing the subject quickly. She ignored her best friends mumblings, even though she knew exactly what Alyx had said.

Alyx rolled her eyes and picked at her salad as she listened to Sarah prattle on about the new professor. He is hot, she thought, too bad he's a demon...She knew because she could see demons, well, any non-human (or ex-human), ever since the incident.

Friday, April 27, 2012

do you want some more??

Ok, I will keep randomly giving out  some more of work-in-progress novel...if you want it!! 

(insert maniacal laughter)

For real, here ya go...a bit more this time!

He woke up in a dumpster. “Fuck, am I dead,” he questioned out loud. He looked around him and sniffed the air. “Oh, I’m in a dumpster. Vince, you idiot, you’re not dead…Damn feels like it though,” he pushed open the dumpster lid and peered out. His back ached, his legs felt weak, and he felt slightly dizzy. He shook his head and stretched his arms up. It was light out but dark in the alley where the dumpster was located. He jumped out of the dumpster with apparent ease, despite his aching body, and slammed the lid shut. He glanced down at himself, his uniform was ripped and smelled worse than it ever had, which was a feat in itself. Vince walked toward the street and shrieked when the sunlight hit him. “Jesus Christ,” he yelled loudly, shielding his eyes and cowering to the ground. He tried to walk into the street and his entire body hurt, it felt like he was on fire. He was, actually, he realized as he saw flames rising off of his shielding arm. He shrieked, pounded out the fire, and retreated to the alley, hiding behind the dumpster. He pressed himself to the wall and started sobbing. He realized his tears were red, like blood. At some point, he must have fallen asleep. 

When he woke up again it was dark. The sun had set and the streets were busy with people running here and there. The distinct sound of car horns made him wince, a headache dwelling deep in the back of his head. He uncurled himself and looked at his hands. They were grimy and covered with dirt, likely from his job and hiding behind the dumpster. He stood up, groaning loudly, and stretched his back and arms. “Fuck me, this sucks. When is the pain going to stop,” he asked out loud, leaning against the brick wall behind him. He stepped out from behind the dumpster. Rats scurried as he moved. “Filthy vermin,” he attempted to kick one but hit the air, losing his balance and bracing himself against the dumpster. Vince brushed his sleeves and ran a greasy hand through his dark, shoulder-length hair. He shook his head to try and shake out the headache but it wouldn’t budge. “God damn, I’m thirsty…” he mumbled, “I suppose I should get out of his alley and just go home,” he said as he started to walk out of the alley. He stood at the edge of where the sidewalk met the street and looked around. He knew where he was but it was a long walk back home, five miles at least. He checked his pocket and found his wallet. “At least the fucker left me my money…” Vince attempted to hail a cab. He got one after a few minutes and before long he was outside his flat.

He found his keys still attached to a belt loop, where they always are. He opened his door and stepped in, grasping for the entry-way light. The light flickered on and cast a dingy yellow tint on his scuffed hardwood floors, the beige couch he had found on the job, the beaten up mahogany table that Mort had helped him drag back from the west side one night. Vince threw his keys on the table and fell onto his couch. Alex, his tabby cat, wandered into the room from the kitchen, where he liked to sit in the window and drink the water from the dripping sink. Alex meowed quietly and pressed his face into Vince’s hand. “Hey kitty kitty,” he grumbled, “I bet you’re hungry. No telling how long I’ve been gone. I’ll feed ya in a minute, Alex,” he said, petting the cat lovingly. Vince sat on the couch, dazed and confused about his life. “I don’t know what happened to me, Alex, but I feel like shit,” he said, finally forcing his aching legs to work and his tired feet to move him to the kitchen. He dug around for the can opener, which was never where he last put it, and a can of cat food. Alex jumped on the counter and rubbed his hands as he opened the can. The cat dove right in as soon as the lid was off and Vince leaned onto the sink.

Think I’ll take a shower, Al, I smell worse than death.” He trudged down the hallway to the bathroom, grabbed his towel off the door, and stripped off the torn uniform. His arms were covered in bruises. There was blood all down his neck and shoulders. “Jesus Christ…” he swore, turning around to see his back in the mirror. His hair was matted and had leaves and dirt stuck in it. He turned back around to inspect his neck. Upon further inspection he could see two tiny pricks where the blood had clearly come from. It looked as if he had been bitten by a snake. “What the fuck,” he swore loudly, staring at the holes in his neck. They were scabbed and had dried blood surrounding them. “Well, I might as well get the dirt off,” he muttered, turning on the water to hot and stepping into the shower.

It was the straight up the best shower he had ever taken. Forty minutes later he stepped out onto the mat and dried off. “Well, at least my hair and body are clean,” he said, looking into the mirror again. “Damn bruises won’t go away for awhile I’m sure,” he mumbled, going to his bedroom. He threw on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt that had been lying on the floor, some socks from his drawers, and he tossed his hair about for a few seconds to shake out the water, much like a dog would. Alex padded into his room and meowed loudly. “Always making an entrance, Al,” Vince said, reaching down to pet the cat. He groaned as he straightened out again. “God damn back hurts,” he grumbled. Vince found his watch on the bedside table and saw the time. “Christ, its eight o’clock already. Where the hell did…oh, right. Behind the dumpster...” He put on his silver necklace, a present his now-deceased mother gave him a few years ago. He recalled having protested that she spend what little money she had on him, but she had said, “Boy, you’re my only child, I have to spoil you sometimes.” He smiled at the memory. “God I miss her…” She had died two years ago when the pancreatic cancer she had been fighting for three years came back in full force before the medicine and chemotherapy could do anything. She died a few months after her relapse. “God rest your soul, Mum,” he whispered. “Shit, I should call Mort, I bet he wonders what the hell happened to me!” He went to get the phone.


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

lose myself

Lose Myself

I want to lose myself
just for one night
Lose myself in passion,
in frenzy,
in the ultimate give-in
(as long as I don't regret it later)

What is life but a series of wants
and desires?
What if i just give in to it all,
let it consume me...

April 25, 2012

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Night Out

Natasha Wright was out at a local pub, drink in hand, with her dream date Scott from work. He had gone off to the restroom and just reappeared at her side.

"Come home with me,” he says, leaning into me, a drink in his hand, a gleam in his eyes. “Screw everyone the end of the night, I want you in my bed, Natasha." His breath was hot on her neck, making her pulse race and her body tremble.

God...the way he said her made her throat clench, her heart beat faster, a slight wetness develop there in her panties. She was losing focus. She was relieved yet anxious. She couldn't wait to feel his hands on her body. His tongue on her nipples and neither regions. I just know he's gonna be amazing in bed...I bet he's great with his tongue.  
Snap out of it she told herself. Get a grip..nothing's gonna happen. This is just a dream! She shook her head. She was daydreaming the middle of a business meeting she was supposed to be taking notes in. The object of her fantasies was a few seats away, toying with his pen.
He's so cute and he doesn't even notice me I bet. She was self-conscious, well aware she wasn't fat, but not quite thin. No one at work looked at her like that, the hungry look she yearned for, she dreamt about.

Finally Mr. Dawes was done talking , the meeting over, and every one scattered. As she gathered her pen and notebook, someone nudged her. Oh god, it's him. He smiled at me. Of shit. 

Hey Natasha, (Oh we go again, she thought) I was wondering if, maybe...if you want to get a drink tonight?”

Oh shit! He talked to me! Ahh fuck! Okay, Natasha, get it together...

Natasha?” She snapped out of her reverie and smiled at the object of her lust.

Yes,.I'd love to meet you, Scott. Where? When?”

He smiled, that gorgeous smile that made her breathe catch. “How about Nicks, 8 o'clock?”

Oh, perfect. Yes, I'll see you then!” 

Can't wait,” he said, walking out of the conference room, to his office.  

Oh god..I nearly died! Oh my god! I can't believe my dream is coming true...she thought, gathering her stuff and thoughts and heading to her office.

Monday, April 23, 2012

think happy thoughts

Think Happy Thoughts

I am not damaged goods 

This I must remind myself;
I am a good person with a few flaws
like everyone else. 
I deserve happiness and delight
friends and family

I'll keep telling myself this
until one day I just know 
April 23 2012


Hey folks. I finally remembered to ask my pal Rebecca Nolan about the interview we did and here it is!

I'm just showing you the link..Go here for the interview! Rebecca & I both had short stories published in "Of Leather & Lace" (buy it here! on kindle). She's a great writer and I am honored that she did an interview with me!! So go check it out please & follow Rebecca's blog.

Friday, April 20, 2012

"is it just a game? I don't know"


slipping back into the abyss
the black, dark patch of quick sand
the oblivion that is depression;
dark, quiet, lonely
It's seductive,
like a dark lover you can't resist,
or the sinful taste of a fine wine,
the sleek comfort of favorite hoodie and jeans
It's oh-so tempting
but I have to (re)learn to be stronger,
to resist,
to ignore the dark tendrils of desperation
that keep popping up,
the quiet voice in the back of my head,
questioning every.single.thing.
Must keep up,
keep my head above the proverbial font of water,
stop from
April 20, 2012

that's Eihwaz, runic..strength

Thursday, April 19, 2012

"and the ghosts down those empty roads, they all know my name"

By now you have found out that i really like to use lyrics, a lot, for everything. its a great way to relate how i am feeling. That one is from Lucero's song "Sometimes". Good stuff.

I have been daily doing tarot readings again, using The Green Man Tree Oracle, which is very cool, and the artwork is amazing! My readings have been very on point lately. For instance today's-
  • Beech tree-cross the threshold that is caging you, gain experience from the unknown, increase your knowledge
  • Yew-persevere to achieve the changes I want
  • Apple-vision, go deeper into the truth

wow. that is dead on....

In other news, I have been reading 2 books-(you can go to my goodreads page & see them HERE
1. "Airel" by Aaron Patterson, which is a YA book about angels and demons. Its pretty good so far! his blog can be found here
2. "Aleph" by Paulo Coelho, which is strange...but it seems fitting for me right now.

Okay folks, I am gonna go about my day now..cya next time! :) 

something that came to me tonight

Here's something that came to me tonight on the way home from a friends place. It's not for any particular story...


“What is it that you want,” he asked, holding her in his arms, against his chest. He could feel her heart beat, steady....steady.

She thought for a moment, resting there on his chest, her arms around him, her feet tangled with his in the sheets. “I want love. Not just some cut rate love, real love. Inconceivable, irrevocable, all-consuming love.” She said it matter-of-factly with a wistful smile on her face.

His left hand caressed her back lovingly. “Well...”

“That's not too much to ask, is it? To want so much,” she asked, inclining her head up so she could see the look on his face. She was happy to see a sheepish grin shining back at her, mixed with a thoughtful gleam in his eyes.

“No, dear, it's not too much to ask... to want the world.”


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

hello folks!

ooh I have 5 followers now! woo! sorry I haven't updated since last week, a huge monkey wrench got throw into my life...

what have I been doing....Oh, I read:
1. "Chicks Kick Butt", an anthology of girls kicking butt, which was good, a nice light read.
2."Fair Game", #3 in the awesome Alpha & Omega series by Patricia Briggs. great read! If you live shifters, go read it. (good reads for Fair Game)

I am hoping to go see a movie soon, like Mirror, Mirror or Wrath of the Titans...maybe next week.

Also, keep reading b/c eventually I WILL post another sneak peek ;)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Sneak Peek...

Okay, so I promised I would leak some of my novel out to my THREE readers (or @ least 3 followers) and I made you wait for ALL day.

So... here it is, from "Dead End Job" (working title) which some day will be finished and published.

"Chapter 1-
The day his life changed forever, he had been up since three a.m., touring the streets of Chicago on the back of his trash truck. It was nearly daylight, so he figured it was close to six. He and Mort had just finished up the East End and they were headed home, just a few more stops.

Vince has just picked up two trash cans on Vicar St. when he saw the body.

Yo! Mort! Stop the truck a sec,” he yelled as he jumped off the truck. A dead body wasn’t that big of a deal in Chicago, but this was the good side of town. He never saw corpses here. He leaned down and hesitantly checked the body over. The corpse was a woman, young, probably in her twenties, and she was nude. She had long auburn hair, pale skin, long legs, and magnificent breasts. He blushed a little and checked for a radial pulse. None. He stood up and looked around. There weren’t any clothes to be found near her. He walked over to the dumpster and peered in, nothing there but rotting trash and bugs. He went back to the body, leaned over her again, and knelt down to brush a long lock of hair out of her face.

That was when her eyes opened and the corpse sprang to life. Vince yelled, startled, and tried to step back, but she grabbed him before he could. She fastened herself to him. He tried to struggle but she held fast. He felt two pricks on his neck, his knees buckled and he fell to his knees. The world went black."

More to come...if you're good to me. ;) 

Sunday, April 8, 2012

come back Wed...

Ok folks, pay attention. Wednesday I'm going to release a few words from the book Im working on, "dead end job".

Im hoping to finish it soon and get it published. Can someonene give me sone cheering? Haha

Happy Easter folks.

Monday, April 2, 2012

the leaves have changed a time or two...

I just love the band The Civil Wars. Not only do they have a great song with Taylor Swift on The Hunger games, but they have an amazing cd. Go check out My Father's father , its haunting.

 Now I am reading "Breathless" by Scott Prussing. I'm a few chapters in and I like it a lot. This is his site- go say hi.

Otherwise I am pretty good. I'm enjoying  feeling slightly numb these days. I'm thankful for having a job that keeps my mind occupied. And I am still writing...slowly...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

keep your eyes open

Today's vision for the world can be summed up in this-"we also see a world where the part of ourselves who has allowed us to remain under the thumb of others suddenly sees the great benefit to everyone concerned in changing our own behavior so that we are no longer allowing ourselves to be controlled in any way whatsoever."


I am obsessed w/ Taylor Swift's songs from the Hunger Games 
-Safe & sound you tube
-Eyes Open, which doesn't have an official youtube video 

FYI daily Visions for the Universe can be found here