Tuesday, March 20, 2012

life & family

life is...odd, fretful, annoying, yet joyous, wonderful, amazing and beautiful. I am grateful to be alive, surrounded with family and friends, with a job, an apartment, a car, and all the worldy possessions I can cram into my tiny apartment.I am thankful for the family and friends who have helped me become the person I am today, where I am. Every single person effects your life, just remember that.

I have been spending the last week in Ohio, with my (adopted) family, being together and watching over my Momma Carol. Without her in my life, god knows where or who I would be. The last time I was out here (October last year), she said she was proud of the person I had become and she liked to think she had some part in that. I couldn't tell her then (for fear of bawling my eyes out, i think) that she had a LOT to do with it. I realized, later, that Carol has been a part of my life for as long as my Father was a part of my life.

 Carol & the rest of the Davis clan, came into my life when I was 10, when my Father & I moved to O.W. (OH) in the summer before i started 5th grade. god that year sucked! Anyway, she has watched over me and been a mom-figure since shortly after that. Carol (and david) is one of those amazing people who is so sweet, caring, loving, all-in-out amazing people the world needs more of. There is hardly a nasty bone in her (okay, maybe 1) and everyone who meets her, loves her. She's just amazing. She's always been a mom to me and no amount of thank-you's and I'm-sorry-for-being-an-ass's will ever capture how honored, blessed, and grateful I am to have had her in my life. I know I will never feel the same way her biological daughters do, but she has been the ONLY Mom I have ever really known. She's been my Mom (in a by-law way) since 1999 when she & David extended their hands and hearts to include me in their family; me a sudden parent-less 16 year old with a lot of baggage and family out-of-state. They didn't have to do that. I never asked for that. Hell, I am sure their own daughters didn't want it, nor their other family understand it, but they did it anyway and I accepted. I don't have any regrets, what-so-ever. They have been an amazing family to me and I can never say thank you enough...

It's a terrible misfortune that someone so amazing will soon be taken from us by the big C. It's always the good ones, unfortunately, never the worlds jerks and dicks.

I love you so much Momma Carol.

1 comment:

Aduff said...

Hey homie!! That was really nice! Even if u cant bring urself to say those things all the time, they all know u love them and appreciate what they've done! Your mom & dad are somewhere watching your life unfold, proud of u and glad the Davis' came into your life! Same w/ my mom! She loved u like her own daughter growing up! It really sucks that the good people are taken from us, and I literally just said almost the exact thing to a few ppl concerning my friends death, that it's not fair that we are left w/ the a-holes of the world and the good ones are taken. Isn't it Ironic, don't ya think? lol However, even though our family was taken from us, u know we both were blessed w/ loving people and even though they will inevitability leave us, we are so lucky to have had them in our lives to begin with! Lots of people in this world don't even know what it's like to ever have parents or anyone for that matter show them the love we have gotten! I miss your Dad all the time when I look at that house, lots of fun times, he was so funny! I can still remember his voice. Teddy and that clubhouse! Us girls reeking all kinds of havoc! My mom catching us getting into trouble and all the lectures we had the fortune of hearing! lol How we always listened to Alanis Morriset and thought we'd be some sort of famous singers! That music video in the Graveyard hahaha The Davis' helped you, but I'm sure you've done more for them than you know! They are lucky to have you as as an adopted daughter! Just like my mom considered all my friends like her own, and she was lucky too! You will be ok, you're very strong, hell we both are stronger than we ever thought possible I think! We've withstood so much thus far, more than most people our age has, this is another bump in the road. Just keep doing what you're doing, being there for your family, I know it feels like you can't do enough, but like I said, just being in Momma Carols life, you've done more for her than you will ever know. -Hugz-